Jul. 30th, 2016
11:47 am - Politics
I don't believe the polls that say Donald is leading. The media need to create the illusion of a close race in order to sell their ads. Actually, a vote for anyone other than Donald (or no vote at all) is a vote for Hillary because she has convinced everyone that the election is rigged in her favour and her coronation is now assured unless something catastrophic happens (such as Hillary spending 100× as much as Donald on TV ads, causing everyone to become sick to death of her and voting for him just as a protest).
But protest votes can be dangerous, as England and Wales discovered recently. It was widely believed that the Brexit was rigged and the "Leave the EU" side would not be permitted to win, so there was no harm in voting for it as a protest against rigged elections. But there were so many protest votes that "Leave" actually won — and then, unexpectedly, the government accepted the will of the people. Something like that seems like the only way Donald could win.
I might be willing to vote for Jill Stein as a protest vote (she's pro-Bernie and not actually anti-vax but just anti-FDA/CDC corruption; also she lives in my boyhood hometown). But Jill is not on the ballot in New Jersey and probably can't get on it by November because NJ is a party-machine state and the Greens have never won more than a schoolboard seat there. So I guess I'll let Hillary win by not voting for anyone.
The improper use of the "success baby" meme is just icing on the cake.
Jul. 11th, 2016
(This post probably won't look like much to shiver_raccoon.)
I don't speak Chinese. I can't even read it. One could say that "It's all Greek to me" but actually I find the Greek language considerably easier to read, even though I don't speak that one, either. Via Unicode and the power of the Internet, I can look up Chinese words in a dictionary — but it is often quite unclear how a word could have ended up with the range of meanings that many Chinese words have.
Recently I was reminded of the concept of the Socialist Harmonious Society (和谐社会), which was a slogan of the Hu Jintao administration (2002-2012). You see, when a Chinese person says something disharmonious, that utterance needs to be censored for the good of the country. The people of China do not feel well about their government when they are reminded that it is corrupt and self-dealing, so it would be wrong to remind them of that. Naturally, it is also wrong to remind people that censorship of news about corruption causes corruption to increase, so online posts about censorship must themselves also be censored in order to construct a Harmonious Society. (Sort of like Obama's "the country will do well if everyone believes the government's lies about how well the country is doing".)
Without censorship there would be no art, so the Chinese have found various puns and circumlocutions for talking about the fact that there are things they are prohibited from talking about. The word "河蟹" (river crab) has the same consonants and vowels as "和諧" (harmonious) but different tone, so it doesn't trigger the illegal-word detector (or didn't, for awhile). If a message is deleted from the Internet in order to promote a harmonious society, you could say that that it "被和谐了" (has been harmonized). Let's look more closely at that last phrase:
|ℹ 被||"bedding", "quilt"; (passive-voice marker)|
|ℹ 和諧||"harmonious", "harmony", "harmonize"|
|ℹ 了||(perfective aspect); (change of state)|
So you see, Chinese makes *perfect* sense! You just take the base-word for ‘harmony’, put a passive-marker in front of it and a perfective-marker after, and voilà — you get the past passive participle for "to have been censored"! Too bad the rest of the language is so difficult.
Jul. 4th, 2016
03:21 pm - I recommend InstantFox!
InstantFox is an add-on for Firefox that makes its address bar act like Opera's. Now I can enter the fake URL
w Boris Johnson
to look him up at Wikipedia, or
m Wilmot ON
to see Google's map, or
to see Wiktionary's definition for this Chinese word.
Doesn't that just brighten your day? 🔆
12:58 pm - Emoji for Linux
Today, Rabbi Brian sent me a newsletter whose subject line was "Dealing with 💩 it.". Obviously the subject is supposed to be a reference to excrement, but the U+1F4A9 PILE OF POO emoji was displayed as a box with hex digits inside, even though I had just upgraded my laptop to the latest Linux Mint.
So I installed the EmojiOne font, which includes colour drawings for the emoji. It uses the new “SVGinOT” font-type which is supported only by firefox and thunderbird, which just happen to be the programs I use. In other programs (such as gnome-terminal), the emoji are monochrome. In weird programs such as emacs, the emoji still appear as boxed hex digits.
There is also an EmojiOne picker app, which is for Ubuntu but says it mostly works with Cinnamon except for the long menus. I haven't installed it. Instead, I downloaded the Unicode 9 NamesList.txt file and then altered it so each line begins with an example of the character being named. (This replaces my previous copy of the Unicode 3.2 names list that I downloaded back in 2002.)
Jul. 1st, 2016
04:18 pm - Upgrade log
(Hi, porsupah! Thanks for stopping by again! You are the only person who has commented on my journal this year. In previous years, xolo was often the only commenter, but he seems to have left LJ now.)I decided in April that my Dell D620 laptop needed an OS upgrade. The major issues were:
- My 3-year-old fonts did not contain the latest emoji characters, which *everyone* has started to use all over the Internet.
- Opera 12.16 was so old, it didn’t support the latest HTTPS standard. Many websites refused to be visited by this old browser (“for your protection”). Newer versions of Opera refused to install on my old OS.
- Firefox 41.0.2 did not play well with the new Reditr 0.3.2.1ᴀ, which was a forced upgrade (they didn’t tell me until after it was installed). Most images displayed as blanks and memory usage was astronomical.
Now it’s time to say So long! to Linux Mint Debian Edition with Cinnamon 201303 (“Jessie”) and say Hello! to Linux Mint 17.3 with Cinnamon (“Rosa”). I’ve been down this road before, so my hard drive is already partitioned into “/home” for files that should survive an OS upgrade, “/” for the OS, plus “/windows” for my dual-boot Windows 7.
April 28th: Finally get around to it: repartition /home to be 13 GB smaller, download Linux Mint 17, write it to a USB stick, boot it up, then let it install itself onto the new partition. Then reboot back to the familiar old system.
June 5th: Boot up the new “Rosa” system for the first time, after first saving copies of all the dot-files in my home directory (since Rosa will upgrade them and then Jessie won’t understand them anymore). Install some of my favourite Linux packages (emacs, wget, etc) and remove a few I don’t need (hplip, cups, bluez, etc). Then back to the old “Jessie” system, which still has those three problems forcing me to upgrade.
June 23rd: Time to get serious. The laptop’s ＦＮ keys for controlling volume and backlight do not work when logged in to Rosa/Cinnamon as ‘root’ (which I always do but it’s been deprecated for years). I futz around with it for a bit, but eventually decide to “act normal” and log in as an unprivileged user (this means that I can’t use my main Emacs session to edit system files). Firefox 47.0 works better with Reditr, although memory leakage is still excessive. Thunderbird cannot see my mail archives and Opera has lost my RSS feeds, but I decide that Rosa is good enough to use for now.
June 26th: Opera 38.0 is not very good. It has a wacky multi-level
menu system that can no longer be turned off, making bookmarks much less
accessible than they used to be. Also it seems that all support for RSS
feeds has been removed. Looks like Opera will need to be demoted to my
“backup browser”, even though Firefox does not have good support for search
accelerators (with Opera I could type in the address “w Boris_Johnson” and
instantly get a Wikipedia bio on this famous person, or type “e ProScan” to
get eBay listings for matching products).
I can’t figure out how to pull the list of RSS feeds from Opera’s data files, so I boot up Jessie (after switching my home directory to the saved dot-files) and start Opera to export the feeds as an OPML file. Back in Rosa (switching dot-files again), I start manually adding feeds from the OPML file to Thunderbird, then discover a poorly-documented feature Edit → Account Settings → Feeds → Manage Subscriptions → Import, which just happens to accept an OPML list of feeds to add. Those manually-added feeds are now duplicates, so I delete them.
Firefox has a tool called “Subscribe” (it’s hidden by default). It strongly promotes the use of Live Bookmarks for RSS feeds, but once you tell it to use /usr/bin/thunderbird instead then it Just Works™. Clicking on a link in Thunderbird opens the web page in Firefox, so these programs seem adequately integrated for my needs.
June 27th: Merge the old email archives into Thunderbird 38.8.0. This is a royal pain because disk space is now very tight on /home and so I can move only a few emails at a time. I delete the saved dot-files, which frees up a lot of space, but means I can no longer go back to Jessie. While I’m at it, I clean up the email archives for my seven years at Company 𝔾. It feels good to put that thing to bed, although it would be better if I had managed to find a replacement job by now.
June 28th: Java no longer works in the browser. This has been
deprecated for months, but I have IcedTea installed and it clearly
does start, but then a blank screen appears instead of the Java app. Same
behaviour in both Firefox and Opera. This is a problem. I use
to put trailing-stop protection on my stock trades, but it’s written in Java
and is now obsolete. I can still use
which is mostly plain HTML, but that is for “investors” rather than “traders”
and doesn’t offer trailing-stop orders. I could use
which is a .net app, but then I would have to reboot into Windows any
time I want to do something with the stock market.
But wait! One of the advanced new features of Linux Mint 17 is supposed to be improved support for VirtualBox. Maybe I could run StreetSmart Edge inside a paravirtualized Windows system inside a GUI window under Linux, just like all the cool kids do nowadays! It’s never worked for me before, but I try installing VirtualBox. It needs a Windows installation disk, so I download the Windows 8.1 evaluation as an .iso file, then write it to a USB stick. VirtualBox cannot reuse my /windows partition and needs several GB to create a simulated hard drive for windows, so I delete the .iso file to make room. Then it turns out that VirtualBox cannot use the USB stick and wants to simulate the installation disk using the .iso file, so I download it again. But Windows 8.1 refuses to boot inside VirtualBox, because my CPU is an old Centrino Duo which doesn’t have the VT-x instructions that Windows 8.1 requires when running in paravirtualized mode.
So I download the Windows 7 Starter .iso from this slightly-shady site, figuring that I’ll reuse the product key from my dual-boot Windows. But my officially-licenced product key is not accepted because it’s for Windows 7 Home Premium rather than Windows 7 Starter. So I get a key from this rather-shady site, which is accepted. But Windows 7 won’t install itself because it insists that the simulated hard drive needs at least 6 GB of space. (I remember when operating systems would fit on a single floppy disk! I used to use a computer whose entire hard-drive capacity was only 0.005 GB! So get off my lawn!) I decide to free up some space by deleting old Company 𝔾 stuff. The most useless stuff is non-final versions of slideshows for conference sessions, which surely I will never look at again (nor will anyone else). I try using an Emacs keyboard macro to select the non-final versions from a list of all conference-data files, but the list is long and the macro runs slowly. So I write a Lisp function to prune the list, which runs in an instant. It occurs to me that this is the first “computer program” I have written in many months.
June 29th: Windows 7 installs successfully inside the simulated computer, but it cannot access the
Internet. Google finds many people with similar problems, but most of their
“solutions” don’t work. It turns out that the default networking settings
for VirtualBox are not compatible with Windows 7, even though
there’s a drop-down menu with “Windows 7 (32-bit)” selected
so VirtualBox will know what kind of OS it’s supposed to be
supporting. The correct answer is to tell VirtualBox to use the
”Bridged Adapter” methodology and simulate the ”Intel PRO/1000 MT Desktop
(82540EM)” type of networking device, which is so old that even Windows 7 knows
how to deal with it.
StreetSmart Edge installs successfully and runs well. The “Live Chart” function correctly updates once per second to show the latest prices on Wall St. But the rest of my system lags a lot while VirtualBox is running. I improve this some by telling VirtualBox to simulate a computer with only 0.75 GB of RAM. (I spent most of my career writing software for computers with only 0.00003 GB of RAM, although those programs couldn’t do any fancy graphics.) I only have enough hard-drive space to store one “snapshot”, so I set it to resume to the moment when StreetSmart Edge asks for my username and password. I’m getting warnings that there’s *only* 1 GB of space available, so I invoke the wizard command “tune2fs -m 2” (kids, don’t try this at home), which reduces the /home partition’s safety margin from 5% to 2% and frees up another 2 GB of space.
June 30th: Begin writing up this document, which requires examining the log-files from the old Jessie partition. Some of the ”facts” documented above might be inaccurate because I didn’t keep careful records as I went along; sorry.
July 1st: Time to get rid of the old Jessie partition to free up 12
GB. To move partitions around on a hard drive you must boot from someplace
else, but my usual USB stick was overwritten with Windows 8.1, so I download
Linux Mint 17.3 again (meanwhile, Linux Mint has released version 18.0).
Write it to the stick and boot it up. Remember that I haven’t set up Rosa
to act as its own web-server yet, so save a copy of Jessie’s /etc
to Rosa in case I need it. Then use gparted to delete Jessie,
make /windows be 1 GB bigger, and put the rest of the released space
into /home. This requires moving 21 GB from one spot on the hard
drive to another, which takes half an hour. Despite all the warnings that
this could make my hard drive unbootable, Rosa boots up just fine. Windows
also boots correctly, after first spending a lot of time on chkdsk
which finds no problems.
So now all that’s left is to remove Jessie from the boot menu, since that menu item no longer points anywhere. I use the wizard command “grub-mkconfig” for that. All done! Happy Canada Day!
Jun. 25th, 2016
01:21 pm - A furry video
Jun. 21st, 2016
Last Saturday, I walked around west Kitchener, knocking on doors and asking people how they felt about their new-ish Liberal Government. This was part of the kickoff for a national campaign in which Liberal Party operatives walk around neighbourhoods, entering people's responses into an app on their smartphones.
One result of this effort is a collection of tweets showing photographs of the groups of canvassers. If you knew anything about local politics (which of course you don't), you could determine that one of these tweets came from the only Liberal candidate for Parliament in Waterloo Region last year who *didn't* win. Clicking on the pic.twitter.com link within that tweet takes you to a photo. I am the bearded guy with the poorly-parted hair.
It is clear that the Party puts a lot of effort into keeping track of who volunteers for these events and how much time they put in. Presumably such hours count as "brownie points" within the Party. What is less clear is the set of prizes for which these brownie points can be traded. It is perhaps like a Chuck E Cheese restaurant where the prizes are hidden and unadvertised and the only way to trade in your tickets is to ask whether a certain prize might be available.
Jun. 20th, 2016
07:11 pm - Random walk around the Internet
Every day I surf the web and collect links, then send them out via private email. Maybe I should post them here. Most links come from Reddit via Imgur. The most common type of link is a puppy-photo, because that goes over well with my email audience.
Fedex was targeted by the DEA for two years, apparently for refusing to pay the bribes that UPS did.
"Loch Ness woofer".
We're out of dog treats? How could this happen???
Time is an endless 3-hour loop!
It gets better around 0:53.
Father's Day breakfast, made out of the most dangerous objects in the house.
Father's Day present from Potter fans.
Presumably this requires lemon juice to keep it edible.
Jun. 10th, 2016
02:09 pm - Liberal news
My membership card arrived today! I am now a "card-carrying Liberal". And I still have my membership card for the Free Software Foundation, so I remain a "card-carrying Communist".
At this month's meeting of the riding association, they voted me onto the board of directors! Since we're now in the off-season for Canadian elections, becoming a director is simply a matter of showing up repeatedly for meetings. Problem: now I'm supposed to help them raise money for the 2019 election! I have no experience whatsoever in fund-raising, but I guess I have to do it to get some cred with this Old-Boy Network that I'm still hoping will someday get me a cushy job as a part-time software engineer, hopefully before all my remaining cash runs out.
Next problem: modern fund-raising requires a smartphone, which I don't have (and don't particularly want to get because the fonts are so damn small). Everyone is supposed to be running an app called MiniVAN to record the results of the voter-contacts. Maybe I can borrow Wifey's tablet and run it on that? Or maybe use WebVAN on my laptop? I'll find out at the upcoming fund-raising training workshop at the riding-president's house.
Another problem: who am I raising this money for? Some of it is for the national party, which needs it to support the riding associations, buy TV ads, and fly the Prime Minister around on a private jet. But much of it is supposed to go to the 2019 election fund. Who will the candidate be? If nothing changes between now and then, the riding association intends to nominate the same guy as last time (who didn't win). He seems like a nice and hard-working fellow.
But something is *supposed* to change. Justin Trudeau promised that 2015 would be the last time that Canada used a first-past-the-post winner-take-all election like the Americans. Switching over to a proportional-representation system will require either making Parliament 30% bigger or making the electoral districts 30% bigger, which seems to be the preferred option. Suppose the new district boundaries are drawn so that our candidate is in one riding and the money we raised for him is in a different one. What happens then? My guess is that no one really knows yet.
May. 31st, 2016
07:11 pm - On a happier note
Last weekend, both the Liberals and the Conservatives held party conventions in Canada. Former Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced his retirement, so current Prime Minister Justin Trudeau gave him some bon mots:
“We need to remember that even though [the Conservatives] may be our opponents, they’re not our enemies. They’re our neighbours and our friends.”
“I can tell you, even if you weren’t a fan of his politics, there can be no doubting Stephen Harper’s commitment to our country.”
Of course, party rivalry being what it is, the main news item from this event was former Liberal leader Bob Rae pretending to throw up at the idea of praising Harper.
Years ago, people used to compare Stephen Harper with George W. Bush, but really this was hyperbole. Harper wanted his country to do well. Bush wanted his country to be weak enough to drown in a bathtub. They sometimes agreed on means, but never on ends.
I joined the Liberal Party of Canada about a month ago, thinking maybe it could help me get a job. The constant barrage of fund-raising emails has been disheartening, including the ones from the P.M. But then sometimes Justin puts on his "statesman" hat and I wish everyone else in his party were just like him.
07:11 pm - Reply to rabitguy
Thank you for your words. It's great that you have found a candidate to believe in. Please enjoy the feeling that there is a candidate out there who actually *deserves* your vote. But please also do keep in mind the fact that your preferred candidate has feet of clay.
Hillary personally accepted a bribe of $675,000 from Goldman Sachs, an enemy of the Free World that some call the vampire squid because of its desire to install Manchurian candidates in most every national government. The money was supposed to be for “speeches” but Hillary is unable to produce even redacted transcripts for those speeches, nor has anyone come forward to say they attended, likely because the speeches never actually happened. Of course, Hillary is quite capable of giving actual speeches, so she didn’t *need* to lie about what the money was for, but she lied anyway. This “cheating for its own sake” seems to be a repeating pattern with her. Anyway, selling speeches and then not delivering them is fraud, and it is a crime to take a bribe in exchange for protecting banksters from the jail-time that they deserve.
Hillary did not *need* to cheat in order to win Nevada. She certainly didn’t need to have “her” people, supposedly-neutral party apparachiks, blatantly treat the delegates differently based on whom they were pledged to. There was no need to bring in police to protect her cronies from the nonexistent violence of those whom they had just wronged. There was no need for the police to all be dressed in brownshirts, as if the Democratic Party were comprised of Nazis. There was no actual need for any of this; it was all for show. “Vote for me because I’m a corrupt politician who cheats and gets away with it.” There are apparently Republicans who find this behaviour attractive, but I don’t.
Voting in Phoenix was so bad, we cannot know how many delegates Hillary truly deserves. Hillary could have made a show of tut-tutting the people who did this, insisting that everyone should have the right to get their vote counted in this free country. Al Gore might have refused to accept the votes of tainted delegates, but Hillary is not Al.
The City of New York is auditing the Board of Elections because it deleted 126,000 people, overweighted with college students, from the party rolls at the last minute, without notice or explanation or reason, apparently for fear that some of them might possibly vote for Bernie. This is not what one might call “a free and fair election”. This is just as wrong as when Republicans delete Blacks from the voter rolls for fear that some of them might vote for a Democrat. Again, Hillary could have made a statement that what happened in NYC was wrong. She did not. How many delegates from New York does Hillary actually deserve? We don’t know, and Hillary seems perfectly okay with that. I’m not. This is election-tampering. It doesn’t matter that Republicans do it too; I expect better of Democrats. It doesn’t matter that nobody ever goes to jail for it. Interfering with elections is still a crime. Did Hillary give the order to delete those voters? What did she know and when did she know it? If the USA were a free country, we would have the right to expect an investigation. Maybe it was the local office acting on their own initiative, hoping to curry favour with the Clinton-leaning national party establishment; or maybe she’s guilty as sin. I don’t know.
Why no, actually. Donald is a racist sexist pig and I certainly wouldn’t want to be a member of his household. There are reports that Hillary’s mean streak is a mile wide, so maybe her household isn’t a nice place to be, either. I don’t think I would want to have a beer with either of them. But we were talking about which person would make better decisions as president.
You cannot conclude that something isn’t a crime just because a Republican is observed to get away with it. Hillary’s private server was illegal, just like Colin’s. But no one is claiming that Colin ran a deliberately-insecure server that allowed foreign governments to steal classified information. Hillary’s two excuses for this behaviour are basically that she’s ”often confused” (≈ McCain’s “senior moment”?) and also she ”doesn’t know much about computers”. Either of these excuses would explain why the server was insecure when originally set up, but neither explains why it stayed that way for four years. Lots of people tried to get her to fix it, but she told them to never speak of the Secretary’s personal email server again. This is not the behaviour of a person who doesn’t know much about computers and becomes concerned when someone tells her she’s using them wrong. This is not a person having a brief senior moment and then coming to her senses when the next person brings up the same issue. This is a Manchurian candidate who *wanted* the server to be insecure. So who is she working for? Maybe I’m naïve, but I just can’t imagine Hillary as a secret agent for Russia or China. Maybe Saudi Arabia, but most likely Goldman Sachs.( Read more...Collapse )
Feb. 24th, 2016
04:19 pm - I got a call from the government!
I got a telephone call yesterday. The caller ID said "GoC–GdC". I know who that is! That's "Government of Canada / Gouvernement du Canada".
This is at least the third time they've called me this year. I did not pick up the phone the previous two times because I did not want to talk to them. The message on the answering machine asked me to pleeeease call them back to talk about my tax situation. But I had nothing to say. Last fall they mailed me a "Request to File an Income Tax Return" for 2014, followed by a "Second Request to File an Income Tax Return" for the same year, along with a deadline of December 20th after which they would get mad at me. But I didn't file. I have no excuse, other than that I did not make enough money that year to be eligible for income tax and I wasn't looking forward to grinding through the paperwork to show them in detail just how bad my year was. (And 2015 was actually even worse in that regard.)
But yesterday I decided to pick up the phone. The agent went through the familiar identity-check stuff (I've gotten these calls in previous years). And then, just before beginning her harangue, the agent checked my current status. "Oh! You just eFiled last week!" she said. Yes, I did that. "You should not have been called. I'm sorry to bother you". So I told her I was sorry that the return was so late — it was all so Canadian! So now I am officially off the government's shitlist.
I still have to file a business tax return for 2014 (I'll get a minuscule refund), and a US income tax return for 2014, plus Canadian and US returns for 2015 (but no business return because my Company 𝔾 consulting business was officially closed in 2014).
Still, it's good news! I had told the accountant at H&R Block that I wanted to eFile on Friday because I didn't know how much time I had left before CRA made their next move. Well, their next move was Tuesday and I was ready for them! What a stroke of luck that I got it done just in time! I used to get lucky breaks like that all the time, but these last few years it has seemed that my luck had run out.
* * * * *
I went to a job interview recently. They looked good on paper — they wanted lots of things that were on my résumé. But the interview didn't go well. It began very nicely with a discussion of how everyone at the company likes Liberal politics and WTF is up with Trump down in the States??? But the guy who does their C++ work is very possessive of his code, while their guy who does Python and SQL is going on sabbatical and needs to be replaced. The company is 7 years old and still having trouble making payroll consistently. Of course, they want 60+ hours a week like everyone does nowadays in Software. I told them I couldn't offer more than 20 hrs/wk so that was the end of it.
Now that the government is feeling better about me, perhaps I should join the Liberal Party of Canada and try to get a job through the "old boy" network. It doesn't seem that there is any other possible way to get a part-time programming job. The inheritance from my mother-in-law is almost half-gone already.
Dec. 24th, 2015
09:27 pm - Merry Christmas!
Well, you *knew* I wouldn't let this "warmest Christmas Eve in recorded history" go by without a comment, right? Every place I've been over the last ten years is in the part of this map that's been described as "the molten inside of a Hot Pocket", which represents temperatures 18°F to 36°F above normal for the day.
Some people claim that Global Warming will kill a billion people, or 14% of the planet's human population. That's almost big a reduction as the 17% that the planet got from the Black Death. And, you know, after the Black Death the relative power of Labour vs Capital was improved considerably! So if you think that people have no power and corporations own everything, just wait until you're negotiating your next raise while all your co-workers' bodies are rotting in the streets! (Disclaimer: this refers specifically to Europe, where half the people died of plague; fatalities from Global Warming are expected to vary widely across the planet, affecting outsourced programmers in Bangladesh much more than those in Ukraine).
Recently I heard that jobs for computer programmers in the USA are expected to drop by 8% over the next decade, while jobs for software developers (previously called "Programmer/Analysts") will grow by 17%. Of course, these estimates assume that current off-shoring trends will continue unchanged, but the one thing you can be certain of about trends is that they eventually change.
Happy ChristmaHanuKwanzaakah! We celebrated our tradition with a Christmas Eve visit to a Chinese restaurant, like all the other Jews.
Did you know that "kwanza" is the unit of currency in Angola?
Oct. 18th, 2015
05:20 pm - Poll: is anybody there?
My recent series of posts about the trip to Disney World did not get as many comments as I had desired. This of course is my fault for writing a bad story and posting it on an inappropriate platform. Anyway, here is a poll so y'all can enjoy clicking or tapping on things.
Of the recent “Disney World 2015” series of posts on this journal, I read
The “Disney World 2015” trip report would have been better if...
If 1 is “yucky” and 5 is “great”, the Disney World 2015 trip report should be graded as
Which of the following phrases appear in the trip report?
Oct. 11th, 2015
12:00 pm - Disney World 2015: Summary
Oct. 10th, 2015
12:00 pm - Disney World 2015: Conclusion
Day 14: Drive from Ohio to Ontario
Meijer (Maumee OH, 3:08pm, pronounced /ˈmaɪ.ər/). Our usual grocery-shopping-in-the-States before driving across the border. $234.80. The same candy bars we got for our “up to $5 snack credit" at Disney are being sold here for 82¢.
Kroger (Roseville MI, 4:21pm). Try to get some lunch here, but their to-go section isn’t all that great. $22.11 for a submarine sandwich for Wifey and some more groceries we forgot to get at Meijer.
Tim Horton’s (Roseville MI, 4:26pm). In same shopping plaza as Kroger. $8.26 for turkey sandwich on ciabbata (for Kid #2) and cinnamin-raisin bagel + cream cheese (for me).
Some convenience store (Dundee MI; no receipt). We get off the highway for Tim Horton’s, but no one wants a washroom. There is a Walgreens next door, and Wifey remembers that she hasn’t played the lottery yet on this trip, but the Walgreens has no lottery display. We head the other way down the street, since there is a Kroger’s sign pointing that way, but we can’t find it. Finally stop in at a convenience store. $1 for a scratch-off ticket that wins $1, so it was a “free” play. $1 for a PowerBall ticket that doesn’t win.
Blue Water Bridge (Port Huron MI – Sarnia ON). Toll = $3.00. The border guard seems to know a whole lot about Wilmot ON, considering that he’s never been there. He asks about the Blue Moon Hotel (which is mainly a restaurant now; I've never been inside).
Tim Horton’s (Strathroy ON, 6:28pm). Washrooms.
$2.39 for a blueberry muffin and a Boston cream doughnut. Kid #2 uses a
gift card to get another pretzel bagel.
Here in the Southwest Ontario countryside, the leaves are turning. It is much cooler than in Florida.
Our house (8:00pm). We’re home! Trip complete with no major
Our house is much more dimly lit than anything at Disney, giving it a surreal feeling: this is where we *used* to live, a long time ago — but it was only two weeks!
Disney World 2015, day 15: Dog kennel
Wag ’N’ Train. $299.17 for two weeks at the kennel (using the $50 off coupon we got as a raffle prize on orientation day). The dog has apparently lost 5% of his body weight and is now trim and more able to use his arthritic leg. The bathroom scale says all other family members are within 1% of their pre-vacation weights, despite the running-a-marathon-in-a-sauna feeling of Disney World in September.
Disney World 2015, day 17: UPS / High Holiday
Our house (2:05pm). The boxes from Florida arrive. Although there was no import duty when going to the States, the Canadian UPS wants $188.77 for their “brokerage” services, thus doubling the shipping cost and making it totally unworthwhile to use UPS instead of Allegiant. The delivery driver refers to his own employer as “pirates” and suggests that I call UPS headquarters and complain.
Our house. It’s Erev Yom Kippur. Kid #2 makes the dinner. Our fast is uneventful.
Oct. 9th, 2015
Landscape of Flavors (10:06am). Kid #2 goes by himself to the food court to exchange all remaining food credits for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. The cashier remembers him as the guy with the 10 rolls of Oreos, but is resistant to allowing him to convert the dinner-credits, so he just gets 13 Reese’s with the remaining snack-credits.
Our room. Disney housekeepers are one of the lowest classes in a very class-conscious company. We have heard that they often don't get to keep things left behind for them by guests, unless a note specifically states that the housekeeper is the intended recipient. So Wifey writes a note listing our unopened leftover foods and beverages and stating that Venette should get them. She specifically mentions the bottle of wine, that we never got around to drinking because Disney World is just so exhausting. I hope Venette gets to keep that wine. Yesterday, when she came to clean, Wifey slipped her a $20 bill, to ensure that she would get *something*.
Landscape of Flavors (11:20am). After we check out, Wifey goes back to the food court while the rest of us wait in the car. She engages in an activity that some people online call “pixie dusting” (but don’t Google that, it means many other things). She finds six people who are not on the dining plan and buys lunch for them to use up our remaining credits. They are shocked, amazed, and happy with their luck. It is probably a more enjoyable activity than eating all those candy bars.
Alamo Rent-a-Car (12:33pm). Very quick! The attendant scans the car’s ID tag, records the mileage and gas, then I’m on my way. $40.17 for the return-with-empty-tank feature. I drove 557 miles and used up almost the entire tank.
Orlando-Sanford Airport TSA screening. They seem annoyed that we have so many carry-on bags, but we get through it. No pat-downs for me!
Some little café (at Sanford Airport). The attendant wants $3.21 for a bottle of Coke, that cost $2 in Toledo! But the café is conveniently located next to the waiting area for our flight, so I pay it.
Allegient Airlines flight 794 (Sanford FL – Swanton OH). Flight takes off 15 minutes late (3:20pm) because of a “discrepancy” in the cargo manifest. Uneventful flight; no cougher. Laptop use: write up my notes for day 10.
Toledo Express Airport parking (6:10pm). $91 for 11 days of parking.
Staybridge Suites. Check-in. They didn’t screw up this time, so we don’t get a free upgrade and have to make do with the two-room suite (living room with fold-out couch, bedroom with king-size bed; the bathroom is off the bedroom so the kids have to keep coming in).
Barney’s Convenient Mart (Maumee OH, 7:34pm). On my way to pick up Chinese food for dinner, I pass by a gas station. It’s cheap, so I put in 10 gallons for $23.99 to prepare for tomorrow’s drive home.
Fiona’s Happy Rose (Toledo OH, 7:42pm). $29.75 for Chinese take-out. It’s pretty good. Kid #1 gets American-style sweet-and-sour chicken without the sauce, replacing the Yak & Yeti meal that she was supposed to have on day 5 (and then couldn’t have on day 11). Canadian Chinese restaurants use a different recipe.
Oct. 8th, 2015
Our room. Kid #1’s attempts to avoid getting sick on this vacation have *mostly* worked, but she seems to be coming down with something now.
UPS store (Celebration FL, 11:09am). $5.89 for a 12×12×20 box
to contain additional stuff to be sent home that does not fit in the
18×18×18 box that we sent down here. This is our estimated amount of
additional space needed (in cubic inches), based on a variety of “test
packs” of the old box with various combinations of the items to send
Celebration is an unincorporated city (pop. 7,427) which started life as a Disney company town where they sold timeshares. It has since been disowned and is now a mostly-separate entity (Disney still provides electricity and telephone services.) My understanding is that the UPS store does not pay rent to Disney, but it’s hard to tell.
Landscape of Flavors (11:30am). Skim milk (it’s a “snack”) for Kid #2’s breakfast cereal in our room.
Our room. Final pack of the two boxes.
UPS store (2:45pm). $187.83 to mail both boxes back to
Canada. Kid #2 carries the old box (all clothing), which is 46 lbs and
awkward; some of the clothing is packed into Vacu-Seal bags and is very
dense, while other bits of clothing are just thrown in loosely. I carry the
new box, which is 30 lbs. I tell UPS that half the new box is new souvenirs
and snacks, half Canadian-origin stuff, while the old box is entirely
Canadian-origin material. Estimated shipping time is four business
It’s hard to tell for sure, but I think that the old box (which is overweight) would have cost $95 to have Allegiant fly it up with us, while the new box would have cost $45. So in total we paid about $48 extra to avoid the checked-baggage hassle and to get $1000 of insurance on the box of clothes.
Epcot. Our last day at the parks. This second visit to Epcot
was planned for day 9 but had to be postponed. The original plan for today
had us visiting the the Magic Kingdom yet again, but we’ve been there, done
that, got the fridge magnet.
Attractions visited today: Club Cool, a ferry, Tangierine Café (Wifey and Kid #1, lunch 4:17pm), Katsura Grill (Kid #2 and I, lunch 4:20pm), Karamell-Küche (take-home, 5:14pm), another ferry, Gran Fiesta Tour, ImageWorks (just Wifey, take-home 6:43pm), Northwest Mercantile (except Wifey, souvenirs), Journey into Imagination, and Soarin (Kid #1 and I). We had hoped to go on Spaceship Earth again, but are just too tired. There is a cast member at Living with the Land who confirms that it is scheduled to reopen tomorrow, and we have unused park tickets, but the effort required seems excessive (get back here for just one ride, then make our plane flight).
Club Cool used to be Ice Station Cool which had a dirty-and-wet igloo you walked through to get to the Coke-branded tasting station. Now you just walk into the station. I try the pineapple soda, which is as good as I remember, and also the guarana soda which does not sit well in my stomach — maybe I drank it too fast. Guarana is often used in energy drinks.
The first ferry takes us to the Moroccan pavillion. It has a female pilot (who is actually in control of the boat, which is not on a track) and a male “captain” (who just reads his lines to the passengers).
At Katsura Grill, I note that the waitstaff are all Japanese nationals as expected. But the cookstaff (actually making the Japanese food) are all Black Americans. Is Japan trying to show off how racist it is, or is this just Florida (which remains part of the Confederate South)? Anyway, the food isn’t great. My dessert is strawberry+adzuki ice cream, which tastes halfway between a fruit and a bean.
Karamell-Küche is obviously sponsored by Werther’s caramel company of Berlin (although they also offer some fresh-baked stuff). Wifey spends a snack-credit on a bag of caramels to take home.
We take a second ferry from Germany towards Mexico (the park layout does not match the geography of the Earth). We have to wait at the dock for a shift-change. I note that both old and new crews consist of a female pilot and a male “captain”, so I guess these roles specify required genders for the cast members.
The Gran Fiesta Tour Starring The Three Caballeros is awful. What it looks like to me is that Mexico stopped sponsoring the pavillion, so Disney took vengeance upon them by replacing El Rio Del Tiempo (which was basically an ad for the Mexico Tourist Board) with a ride in which Donald Duck makes fun of Mexican stereotypes. Let this be a lesson to you all: this is what will happen to your country if you ever stop giving the benjamins to DisneyCorp!
At ImageWorks, Wifey gets another box of mints to use up a snack credit.
It’s a long walk to the Canada pavillion, so Wifey sits on a bench at the Showcase Plaza. At Northwest Mercantile Trading Post, Kid #1 thinks the selection of products is much like any tourist trap back home; she buys a Mickey-in-Canada pin for $9.54 (says Disney in their final-accounting email; missing receipt). Kid #2 uses a penny-squishing machine for 50¢ (plus 1¢ for the penny). The machine embosses an image of the Epcot Canada pavillion, but on the other side you can clearly see that the penny had been minted in Canada in 1968. “It’s Canadian on both sides,” he says. We generally think of Kid #2 as the most “normal” member of our family, but is it normal to decide that the best use for your 47-year-old penny, no longer legal tender in its country of origin, is to squish it into a souvenir?
The cast member who is staffing the Trading Post wears a nametag that says she is from Etobicoke ON, so I ask her if the ‘k’ is pronounced. “No, it is /ɛ.ˈtoʊ.bɨ.ˌkoʊ/,” she says, clearly annoyed with the number of mispronunciations she hears. It turns out that this is her second stint at Disney World; for her first stint they gave her a nametag that said “Brampton ON” (where she lives) but this time they are making her wear Etobicoke (where she was born). Kid #1 says it’s a good thing that our 15-year-old nametags don’t give our places of origin, because we moved to Canada after getting them. The cast member says she saw someone wearing one of these old nametags at a D23 event. I tell her that, of the 65,000 cast members at Disney World, she is the first one we’ve run into who has *ever* seen one of these things before. (I am fairly sure that neither of my children has any idea what D23 is, nor have they ever been to Brampton, nor gotten off the highway when they were passing through what used to be Etobicoke, which was dissolved in 1998 and amalgamated into Toronto.) Anyway, a pleasant enough conversation with a homie.
Journey into Imagination stars Eric Idle. There is a picture of Robin Williams on the wall, but he has no lines.
At Soarin, I note that the dark splotch does not seem to be in a specific place on the screen, but depends on where I am looking. Perhaps it is actually a blind spot in my eye and not a defect in the ride?
Everything Pop (at Disney’s Pop Century Resort, dinner 8:45pm). I haven’t been too pleased with our own resort’s food, so we try the Pop Century resort down the street, but things keep going wrong. I try to go through the automated entry-lane for the parking lot, but my credential is rejected (apparently this resort restricts the automated entry just for guests staying at Pop Century, not for all current guests like elsewhere). I have to back up and go through the staffed entry; the cast member’s handheld reader makes a happy noise when scanning my wristband, so he lets me in. I try to get a tuna sandwich, but the line I select does not move — everyone is getting create-your-own salad. Finally I get the sandwich and go to a checkout line, but it does not move — the cashier is having an extended conversation in Spanish with some other guests. When she finally gets to me, she wants to have an extended conversation in English, but my family is sitting on a bench outside the food court so I just wish she’d hurry up. By the time I finally get the food back to our room, I don’t feel like eating it, so it sits in the fridge until tomorrow morning.
Ink and Paint (9:08pm). Wifey pays $23.27 for a scarf, plus $2.12 for an Animal Conservation button.
Landscape of Flavors (dinner, 9:15pm). Create-your-own pasta for Wifey and the kids.
Oct. 7th, 2015
Our room. Kid #2 refuses day 5 of ear drops. In his opinion,
“day 1” should have been the day when the medication was prescribed, which
was skipped because I didn’t buy the stuff until the next day. He doesn’t
see the need to add a “day 6” to make up for that.
As an American parent, I can *insist* that my minor child take prescribed medications that I paid lots of money for. But Canadians over 16 years old have bodily autonomy and cannot be forced by their parents to accept medical treatments, so I throw the bottle of ear drops in the garbage bin. It did whatever it did for him; we’ll never know what would have happened if he hadn’t taken it; obviously it has been doing nothing for his viral cold.
Disney’s Animal Kingdom. This has always been my
least-favorite park. It is so fake! There’s plenty of trees, but the
biggest one (and emblem of the park) is actually a giant piece of concrete
that’s been *decorated* to look like a tree. The park is full of
carefully-arranged moats covered by carefully-arranged plantings, to make it
look like the “wild” animals have much more “freedom” of movement than they
actually get. It is accredited by
the Association of Zoos and Aquariums,
but it isn’t really a “zoo” so much as it is a “curated zoo-like
experience”. You need large numbers of “scare quotes” when talking about
Attractions visited today: Dinosaur, Dino Institute Shop (souvenir, 12:48pm), Restaurantosaurus (no purchase), TriceraTop Spin (kids only), Yak & Yeti Cafe (lunch, 1:43pm), Mombasa Marketplace (take-home, 3:19pm; souvenir, 3:20pm), Expedition Everest (Kid #1 and I), Kilimanjaro Safaris, and Tamu Tamu (snack, 4:33pm). We had hoped to do It’s Tough to Be a Bug and Flights of Wonder which had been postponed from day 5, but there’s just not enough time, as this park closes at 5pm.
In the past, I have always avoided the Dinosaur ride, so this is my first time. The opening video has this “doctor” who tells us that she will ”literally” send us back to the time of the dinosaurs. IMNSHO, the actress they chose has no idea how to portray a doctorate-holder and their script-writer has no idea how PhD’s actually talk; my family thinks I am being too hard on them. Anyway, the back-story goes swiftly downhill from there: why should the wayward male “doctor” send the audience back to the extremely dangerous moment of the meteor impact, when he can just as easily redeem himself in the eyes of the female “doctor” by “accidentally” sending the time machine back without any passengers? You see what I mean about the extensive need for “scare quotes” at this park. The ride is track-based and has too many swishy-swashy movements for my taste. The animatronic dinos that you ride past seem okay.
At the Dino Institute Shop, Kid #2 buys a chunk of amethyst for his rock collection. $5.28.
In Wifey’s original plan, today’s lunch was supposed to be at Restaurantosaurus (which is a themed McDonald’s) because it is near Dinosaur. But that plan had us eating at Yak & Yeti on day 5, which didn’t happen, so the revised plan says we should eat there today. Yet still we end up sitting down at Restaurantosaurus because it is near Dinosaur and we have to make family decisions while studying the park map.
This is the first visit in 20 years that does not include any entry into The Boneyard. But our kids are just too old for a giant sandbox.
The TriceraTop Spin ride is in an enclosed kiddie area. You have to go right to enter the area, not left towards the ride’s own entrance which is not directly accessible. I try to tell the kids that, but they just keep walking left. So I let them go. Eventually they turn back and enter on the right, only to discover that there actually is a left entrance that is usable. Wifey and I sit on a bench like oldsters.
The last time we were here, the “hidden” seating area behind Yak & Yeti was deserted. This time it is literally packed; we cannot find a seat anywhere. They have stopped carrying American-style sauceless sweet-and-sour chicken, which Kid #1 had been looking forward to for months. The nearby Indian dance music is extremely loud and we have to just stand there and listen to it because we cannot find a place to sit; this all puts Kid #1 into a pre-meltdown mood. Eventually a cast member takes pity on us and finds us a free table (or just points out that a table has suddenly become free). The food is disappointing when we are finally able to eat it.
At Mombasa Marketplace, Wifey gets two boxes of animal crackers to use up snack credits. Kid #2 pays $5.28 for a slice of agate to add to his collection.
Wifey was supposed to do Finding Nemo — the Musical when the rest of us did Expedition Everest. But this is prevented by the need to rejigger our FastPass™ times (which we have had to do EVERY SINGLE DAY because SOMETHING always comes up). Also, Kid #2 sees the big drop that the Expedition Everest roller coaster makes and decides not to go on it, so he and Wifey just sit while Kid #1 and I ride.
Expedition Everest is *excellent*! The ride is very smooth with no bone-rattling. The broken-off tracks are probably very scary to people who didn’t read the warning that this coaster sometimes goes backwards. The various loops have an “extreme” feeling to them without actually being very extreme. A perfect example of why Disney makes the best roller coasters in the world.
On Kilimanjaro Safaris, Wifey takes many animal photos with her digital camera, while Kid #1 takes some using her smartphone. As we are exiting from the ride, it begins to rain. We put on our rain ponchos (mine comes from a dollar store and is decorated with a maple-leaf motif). Our feet get soaked, but it is a warm rain.
At Tamu Tamu, Wifey finally(!) gets her Dole Whip® (although it is called “pineapple softserve” at this park). Kid #1 shares it with her, while Kid #2 and I get thoroughly soaked because there is no place to escape from the (thankfully-warm) rain. Then we all get soaked on the long walk back to the park entrance.
Golden Corral (Celebration FL, 7:46pm). Kid #1 was not looking forward to eating here, after our lunch experience in New York with this chain. But the food here is just as good as I remember. Only $63.28 for a lovely family dinner. Now *that’s* what I’m talking about! This buffet requires payment on entry, so it seems the tip needs to be in cash. I give the waitress $6 and conveniently get some US money out of my wallet.
Landscape of Flavors (10:35pm). Convert six dinner-credits into 18 snack credits and buy Nutter-Butters, Nilla Wafers, 10 rolls of Oreos, and 4 chocolate-coated Rice Krispy treats with Disney characters on their packages. Also get a bottle of Coke (for me to drink during our last morning in the room) and a package of peanut M&M’s (for me to eat on the homeward plane flight). Kid #2 carries the bag of loot.
Ink and Paint (10:54pm). Convert 18 dinner-credits
into 2 bags of pretzels, 3 bags of nuts, 10 apple pies, 25 Snickers bars,
and 14 Kit Kats. Kid #2 helps with the math. I get confused and think I
have converted too many credits, but a cast member gets the bright idea of
printing out the current status of our dining plan, showing that we have
plenty of remaining credits of both kinds (because this store doesn’t have
the Reese’s cups that we were also planning to buy, so we bought less than
The store manager thanks me repeatedly for my business and asks me to sign a copy of the receipt showing that I bought over $100 worth of candy from him; no previous use of the dining plan has required a signature. It occurs to me that I have traded snack credits that are “worth” up to $5 for candy bars that are selling for $2 — but the bars are much easier to carry home with us than the $5 snacks that are freshly-made and perishable. Perhaps one unit of DisneyCorp pays another unit of DisneyCorp $5 per snack credit, no matter how little the snack cost? This would explain the manager’s glee.
Our room. Wifey and I try various combinations of packing the UPS box and the various backpacks and suitcases, trying to decide how in the world we are going to get all this candy home without having it turn into a chocolatey mess. The kids wisely stay in the other room of our suite.
Oct. 6th, 2015
Our room. Day 4 dose 1 of Kid #2’s ear drops.
Landscape of Flavors (12:12pm). Lunch.
Ink and Paint (12:45pm). Single-dose DayQuil for $2.45. Kid #2 is coughing. Also, get a sandwich-cutter for $6.34 that makes white-bread sandwiches look like Mickey Mouse’s head. Our kids are too old for such foolishness (and have never attended public school), but we can buy it anyway!
Ink and Paint (12:57pm). Two Entenmann’s Apple Pies. Obviously there is no way we can eat up all the “snack” credits during this vacation, so we have to start accumulating snacks that will travel well so we can bring the excess food home.
Our room. To prepare for today, Wifey spent months making
herself a Minnie Mouse costume. Part of the costume consists of old shoes
to which she laboriously applied many coats of yellow paint. But the shoes
feel tight and today’s schedule includes massive quantities of walking and
Wifey’s knee is already feeling gimpy from previous days’ exertions, so she
decides to be prudent and not wear the special shoes that she worked so hard
Wifey insists that I wear a Haunted Mansion T-shirt. Kid #2 does not dress up at all.
Kid #1 wears her Dr. Who outfit. She also has a Winnie the Pooh fursuit (open-face) that we didn’t bring because obviously it would be too hot for Florida. But even the tweed jacket for her Who suit seems like too much for the 90° weather, so she leaves that item in our room.
Kid #1 also brought her Winnie the Pooh doll, but it spends the entire trip in her backpack and no pictures are taken of it at the park, where we had bought it as childless newlyweds in hopes of someday having a baby to give it to. Well, after a year of fertility treatments, we got our wish! Considering how many years Pooh spent as her go-everywhere favorite doll, it is in remarkably good shape.
Magic Kingdom Park (3:40pm – 12:00am). It’s Mickey’s
Not-So-Scary Halloween Party!
Regular park hours run until 7pm, while special party tickets are for 4pm to midnight. They have started to accept special tickets but then the revelers are being held in a pen until the stroke of 4. Since we have excess park tickets because of our skipped days, we decide to “waste” them by entering the park 20 minutes before everyone else in our class. The ticket collectors find this hard to believe, but they let us do it. It feels so luxurious to engage in such “conspicuous consumption”; we are spending an entire day’s ticket just to get 20 minutes of extra park time! But there is nothing else we can do with these nonrefundable nontransferable tickets. Maybe for our next trip (if there ever is a next trip), we’ll buy park tickets for only half of the hotel days.
Attractions visited today: Various trick-or-treat spots, Main Street USA photo spot (photo, 3:48pm), Confectionary (take-home, 3:57pm), Crystal Palace (dinner, missing receipt), The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, Big Top Souvenir (take-home, 8:56pm; actual souvenir, 8:58pm), Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor, Astro Orbiter (Kid #1 and I), Tomorrowland Transit Authority, Haunted Mansion, “Monsters’ Dance Party”, “Happy Hallowishes”, a popcorn cart (snack and souvenir, 10:47pm), Big Thunder Mountain (kids only), Aloha Isle (snack, 11:05pm), and Mickey’s “Boo-to-you” Parade (kids and parents on opposite sides).
At the Main Street USA photo spot, Wifey wants a family photo with Cinderella’s Castle as the backdrop. I suggest taking two photos with three people each, then stitching the digital photos together back home, but it seems unlikely that this would work well. A pair of other park guests who are walking by offer to take our family photo for us. Yay! So now we need a photo frame.
At Confectionary, we get 3 additional boxes of shortbread cookies imported from Scotland and shaped like Mickey’s head. Paying customers would be forking out over a dollar each for small ordinary cookies — but for “free” we’ll take them!
Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor. This is totally different. You see animated characters on a big screen, but clearly there are live comics working behind the scenes at this show who are making up jokes on the fly. Periodically they shine lights and cameras on individual audience members and put these live video feeds on a big screen with funny captions below them. Only a small minority of audience members get this treatment. They point the camera at me with the notation, “What do you get when you cross a human with a chia pet?” Presumably this refers to my beard, which is a different color from my scalp hair. Unfortunately I am unable to think of a funny dance to do while the camera is on me.
The Crystal Palace buffet costs $202.88 for dinner (actual money, not on our meal plan; can’t find receipt so price taken from the final-accounting email sent by Disney after our trip is over). The food isn’t worth quite that much, but this restaurant includes meet-and-greets with various Winnie the Pooh characters. Wifey takes photos of our kids with Eeyore, Piglet, Tigger, and Pooh; she tries to get them to strike the same poses as on previous trips, but this is physically impossible because the character fursuits are the same size but our kids are now much bigger.
At The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh exit shop, we find out that Winnie The Pooh® brand honey is no longer offered, so we can’t buy it, so Wifey can’t check off this item in her giant list of “Things to do at Disney World” formed during the two years of planning. Oh well.
At Big Top Souvenir, Wifey gets two containers of cheese goldfish and a bag of pretzels. We have way more dinner-credits than we can use, so she trades one dinner for these three snacks. Big Top is one of the few in-park stores that offers this conversion feature, which is usually done at the hotel food courts. Wifey is so focused on the snacks that I have to remind her to get a fridge magnet for our collection! I say, “If this is the ‘trip of a lifetime’, shouldn’t we buy a fridge magnet?” This probably sounds rather silly to the store staff. Anyway, I select a small picture frame surrounded by “Walt Disney World 2015” with both magnet and kickstand features — only $10.60!
The Monsters’ Dance Party is very loud and has bright lights; guests dance along with cast members who are wearing fursuits. Wifey and Kid #1 join in, while Kid #2 and I sit it out.
Astro Orbiter is a kiddie ride. Kid #1 and I share a vehicle, which was fine ten years ago but quite cramped now.
As we exit from Haunted Mansion, the “Happy Hallowishes” fireworks display starts up, so we sit to watch. At one point, half the visible sky is filled with exploding fireworks! We’ve never seen anything like it.
At the popcorn stand, Wifey uses a snack credit for bottled water (another luxury, since water fountains are available but bottled water is cold and we might as well use the snack credits). She gets a souvenir bucket of popcorn for $6.00 (popcorn is a snack, but souvenir buckets aren’t; Kid #1 eats the popcorn). On one of our previous trips we got souvenir buckets which the kids then used in their sandbox at home — but they are too old for that now.
At the trick-or-treat spots, cast members give out handfuls of fun-size candy which are not as impressive as the full-size candy bars we can get with our snack credits. At one spot, the cast member greets me and Kid #2 by name (since we are wearing our 15-year-old nametags). She greets Wifey as “Minnie” due to her costume. I don’t remember what she called Kid #1, but it wasn’t “Dr. Who”. I remark to Kid #1 that Minnie Mouse is a Disney property but Dr. Who is a BBC property, which may explain why the cast member couldn’t refer to it. On at least two other occasions today, some other guest we passed by uttered the passphrase “bow ties are cool” which is a Dr. Who reference, but Kid #1 didn’t hear them or couldn’t think of a reply.
At Aloha Isle, I get pineapple juice, which is tasty but isn’t Dole Whip® which is one of the fond-memory foods that Wifey had wanted to eat on this vacation. But here we are on day 10 and she still hasn’t had any, because we’re never near the Aloha Isle when she’s hungry. There are definitely some downsides to this eat-all-the-time dining plan; also the excessive heat is suppressing our appetites. Anyway, Wifey shares some of my pineapple juice while we watch the parade, thinking that the kids are enjoying themselves on Big Thunder Mountain.
Meanwhile, the stand-by line for Big Thunder is unexpectedly long, so our children get in only one ride and don’t feel like standing in line again, but the parade route cuts off the Big Thunder/Splash Mountain area of the park, so the kids just stand there and watch the parade, then rejoin us after crossing the street becomes possible.
The “Boo-to-you” Parade is supposed to be one of Disney’s best. Ho hum. I guess we’re just not parade people. This is the first parade in 25 years that we actually sat and watched instead of avoiding at all costs. It is probably also the last.
Our room. I apply five drops of ofloxacin to Kid #2’s
ear. This is day 4, dose 2.
My wife and I will probably never again visit the Magic Kingdom for as long as we live. Our kids are all grown up now and the expected delay until grandchildren arrive is greater than our remaining life expectancy (although you never know). I has a sad. In fact, I have a sad repeatedly over the next several days. I think my first visit to the park was in 1972; Wifey’s first visit was later that decade. We just don’t have the money to bop down here without a good reason such as a grandchild or a hefty inheritance.
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